I was born into a difficult family.

There were many fights. I often felt terrified and worried. The majority of my childhood is tinged with violence, fear and depression.

When I was 4, an older boy, who was around 15 at the time, had been coming into my room at night and doing sexual things - I remember some of it, but my memories are blocked. I recall telling someone about this at primary school and of course this got back to home, and social services.

I remember the row, the raised voices, the worry - at 4 years old I thought it was my fault for telling - this began a very devastating cycle for me where I kept things quiet and inside.

Don't make noise. Stay small. Don't tell the truth.

This obviously couldn't last for ever and the toll of bottling everything up was immense.

I was bullied at school.

I was undiagnosed ADHD and Autistic - I struggled in ways no one else understood and that I didn't share.

I didn't want to be a burden on anyone.

Things were hard enough at home as they were.

I began to use food to comfort me but began to gain weight. This only increased the bullying.

By 11 I wanted to die.

By 14 I was self-harming.

By 17 I was taking drugs.

I did therapy from the age of 15 but it didn't seem to help.

I've been on every antipsychotic, antidepressant and medication the doctors could prescribe, but it did nothing.

I just needed to be numbed to life.

I was kicked out of my family home at 19.

At this time, I also developed bulimia and anorexia and lost over 100lbs in a few months.

I got hit by a car and evicted from a flat by an abusive landlord who did his best to make me homeless because I wouldn’t sleep with him. I also found other drugs, which I soon began to become dependent on.

I smoked, I snorted, I puffed, I drank, I binged and purged.

Anything to take away the pain I was in.

I was not a good person during this time.

I lied, I stole, I cheated - anything to feed my addiction to numbing my pain.

I was in debt and couldn't hold a job down for more than a few months.

Because I wasn't healing my trauma, I was subconsciously recreating it.

So much so that I was raped by a 'friend' of mine on my birthday a decade later.

After my first love and I broke up, I was bereft.

I needed something.

Anything to change.

I met a shaman.

This began a deep and profound journey to remembering myself and becoming awakened.

I took the mushrooms.

I tripped on LSD.

I died on Nitrous oxide and met God.

I drank ayahuasca in dark rooms.

I let the Icaros fill my soul.

I worked with spirits, Gods and demons.

I practiced witchcraft and threw tarot.

I threw up on Kambo.

I met God on Bufa.

I have been to the end of this world and beyond.

I received the title of Guru after my last initiation.

Gu meaning Light and Ru meaning Darkness.

For the last decade, I have served millions of people, being the light in the darkness for them. I have authored books, sold ££££ of spiritual workshops, coached 100's 1:1, talked at exhibitions and created what I like to call

'The Joy Revolution'

It is my mission to bring consciousness and healing into as many peoples lives as I can. I started my business in 2017 and we have been growing, healing and awakening since then.

I want this for you.

You’ve spent so long surviving.
Now it’s time to start living — with your whole heart.

Pure joy.

If you’re here, you’re probably tired.

Tired of feeling like you’re "too much" for some people and "never enough" for others.
Tired of putting everyone else’s needs above your own, only to feel invisible, drained, and stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break.
Tired of coping in ways that numb you instead of nourish you — scrolling, people-pleasing, overthinking, doubting yourself at every step.